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Author Topic: Bullying In The Workplace  (Read 2296 times)

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Offline Baz

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Bullying In The Workplace
« on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 0936 »

I think that bullying in the workplace is more common than some people might think.

Last week it came to my attention that the site manager where I work has shouted, bawled and sworn at some workers for no apparent reason.

I believe that people have a right to not be shouted at or sworn at by anybody at work. This is bullying and it is verbal abuse.

Does anybody have any stories of bullying in the workplace ?. What happened ? was action taken against the bully ?

To be honest I hate bullying and will do everything in my power to resist it.

Bullies are always cowards.
« Last Edit: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1009 by Baz »

Offline ben 10

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #1 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 0943 »
This isn't bullying in the work place. Completey different issue. Barry Durkin is english speaking and has come up against the taffia at Llangefni. Period.
It is what it is........innit?

Offline Carnedyr

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #2 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 0948 »
Bullying is a bad thing in any environment (work, home, school etc), I always take a stance on bullies, the bigger they think they are the harder they fall  ;)
while we have time let us do good

Offline Baz

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #3 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 0955 »

Well said Carny, I agree completely !.

 ;)
« Last Edit: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1013 by Baz »

Offline ben 10

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #4 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1007 »
I agree it's a subject worthy OF discussion but mention should be made that this isn't a case of the subject which headers the discussion. Barry is elected and therefore doesn't work for the council. He offers his time to his constituents and as a result of his persistence has attracted some serious attention from the taffia.
It is what it is........innit?

Offline Baz

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #5 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1009 »
I agree it's a subject worthy OF discussion but mention should be made that this isn't a case of the subject which headers the discussion. Barry is elected and therefore doesn't work for the council. He offers his time to his constituents and as a result of his persistence has attracted some serious attention from the taffia.

OK ben, point taken, I'll delete the link so he is'nt the focus.  ;)

Offline Che Guevaras Flip Flops

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #6 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1027 »
'Bullying' is subjective and very much affected by the environment it occurs in.   What some people perceive as motivation others would perceive as bullying.      For instance,  the infamous bayonet run that is done on the infantry section commanders or platoon sergeants battle courses (Brecon)  would absolutey stagger some people on here for it's pure brutality to the soldiers taking part - as would the 'fan dance'.     

As would the drill instructor's course where you are made to shout at trees if you do something wrong,  or bring stupid things to the guardroom at 10 o'clock at night - such as your locker and it's entire contents.

The soldiers that go on these courses know it's going to happen but also know that unless they do the courses their career stops dead.  And because of the environment they operate in \and have operated in since they were recruits they find it a good laugh anyway.

When Gerrard grabs hold of the shirt front of a team mate who has just made a bad mistake and waves his fist in his face while screaming at him,  is that bullying?  Or being a team captain?

Offline ben 10

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #7 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1032 »
Punch on the nose of bullies has always been the best solution for me. However, when I was employed by a government agency, a bop on the nose was impossible so I had to endure mental stress beyond comprehension. I dealt with it and have become a better person for it. It has put me off officially working ever again though. Makes me wonder how anyone can.
It is what it is........innit?

Offline Baz

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #8 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1212 »
'Bullying' is subjective and very much affected by the environment it occurs in.   What some people perceive as motivation others would perceive as bullying.      For instance,  the infamous bayonet run that is done on the infantry section commanders or platoon sergeants battle courses (Brecon)  would absolutey stagger some people on here for it's pure brutality to the soldiers taking part - as would the 'fan dance'.     

As would the drill instructor's course where you are made to shout at trees if you do something wrong,  or bring stupid things to the guardroom at 10 o'clock at night - such as your locker and it's entire contents.

The soldiers that go on these courses know it's going to happen but also know that unless they do the courses their career stops dead.  And because of the environment they operate in \and have operated in since they were recruits they find it a good laugh anyway.

When Gerrard grabs hold of the shirt front of a team mate who has just made a bad mistake and waves his fist in his face while screaming at him,  is that bullying?  Or being a team captain?

I see bullying as intimidation with intent to instill fear resulting in the victim feeling afraid, humiliated, depressed, devalued and basically violated.

Verbal abuse is, in my opinion, the thin end of the wedge and may lead to more severe forms of bullying.

Yes I would see Gerrards conduct as bullying.

As an ex- copper, and someone who has worked with the RAF, I appreciate the military ethos of discipline, routine and responsibility and thus the need for higher ranking officers to raise their voices and deliver reasonable chastisement to lower ranked officers and new recruits.

One person suffering from depression and anxiety as a result of bullying is one too many.

Punch on the nose of bullies has always been the best solution for me. However, when I was employed by a government agency, a bop on the nose was impossible so I had to endure mental stress beyond comprehension. I dealt with it and have become a better person for it. It has put me off officially working ever again though. Makes me wonder how anyone can.

I'm sorry to hear of the mental stress you had to endure. Did you put a complaint in about it ? was anything done about it ?
« Last Edit: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1223 by Baz »

Offline Rascal

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #9 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1226 »
I see bullying as intimidation with intent to instill fear resulting in the victim feeling afraid, humiliated, depressed, devalued and basically violated.

Would you consider being called thick, an idiot and other insults as well as this 'If I ever get the chance I'm going to hurt you' as bullying in that case Baz?

You make a good point about intent. In the armed forces, the shouting at lower ranks is not intended to make them afraid, humiliated, depressed, devalued and basically violated. What good would troops be if they were like that? It is I think, to make them do as they are told, without ever questioning the commands given. For instance, what good would a soldier be if he was told to attack someone and they said that they would consider it after some deliberation? The intent there is to form the personnel into someone that carries out tasks without question. Whether it is the right or wrong way to do it is another debate, but it seems to have been the practice for centuries.
IT IS RASCALS BIRTHDAY BEFORE MONKEY FIDDLERS!!! STILL!!!      
Oooh, it's all "Wils, Wils, Wils!"
Rascal bach, you have no idea how hard I'm laughing at your last post.  You are so funny.
I think Rascal should apologise for Wils - seriously!

Offline Baz

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #10 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1242 »
I see bullying as intimidation with intent to instill fear resulting in the victim feeling afraid, humiliated, depressed, devalued and basically violated.

Would you consider being called thick, an idiot and other insults as well as this 'If I ever get the chance I'm going to hurt you' as bullying in that case Baz?

Yes I would.

As I said in the earlier post, I think that being in the military can put things into a different perspective where is it necessary to instill discipline etc .....

Maybe another factor in my concept of bullying is my age. When you are in your late teens or early twenties you are possibly more likely to put up with verbal abuse at work due to being fresh out of school and accustomed to teachers ranting at you !. Now that I am in my forties there is no way I will tolerate being shouted and sworn at by any employer !

Offline Che Guevaras Flip Flops

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #11 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1247 »
Quote
Yes I would see Gerrards conduct as bullying.

Whereas I and many others wouldn't.   That's what I mean by it being subjectve and highly dependent on environment.

Quote
deliver reasonable chastisement to lower ranked officers and new recruits.

The bayonet run is done on both the section commanders battle course (corporals) and the platoon sergeants (sergeants).  It is designed to put you under immense stress and confusion and involves liberal quantities of pigs blood and pigs guts as well as being run ragged until you are heaving, screamed at, kicked, punched, pushed and hit with sticks.  The idea being to simulate the stresses and confusion of hand to hand combat as realistically as possible.

Offline Tecsyn

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #12 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1322 »
It has happened to me in a former job, and the culprit was senior to me. I won't go into detail but it made me ill and eventually saw me leave the job. I took advice, sued, and received a hefty payout as a result. The money was nice but I would rather it hadn't occurred in the first place. The country is full of inept managers, and I wonder when somebody is going to recognise this and formalise some kind of national management training programme...

Offline Reenie

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #13 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1953 »
It's pretty horrible to be the victim of workplace bullying and having experienced it, know it's frustratingly crippling. At the place I worked previously it happened quite a lot. Not only to me but in turns, to others. It seem funny hearing this from a female but I do think when a group of women get the upper hand, they use it heartlessly. They tended to bully in turns, then when they felt their victim had been "punished" enough, they move onto someone else.  They isolate someone else and open the doors for the previous victim to return to the fold, all chastised and subdued. When they did it to me I'd already gauged the pattern and was damned if I'd submit to such emotional blackmail. At first they were confused and most of them were extra nice and tried very hard to re-enlist me into the inner circle. I turned my back on all of them. Eventually they got very nasty and finally they won and beat me out.
I sued in the end. I won. They did it to a colleague after me, she sued and she won too. Hahaha, that was a sweet victory.

I'm happier at my new job but am not convinced it's the place for me, especially after the managing director has had two women in tears in the short time I've worked there. She's already realised I'm not as easy to bully and is currently doing the "sweetness" thing. It's just a matter of time, based on stories from colleagues and in my previous experience, before it's my turn.

It's absolutely a characteristic of the weak and insecure. Unfortunately, unless you have balls like beach buoys and skin like a rhino, it will get to you. Some of us are more able to deal than others and like Baz said, age makes a huge difference in your attitude but you also need to know which battles to fight to win the war.

« Last Edit: Sunday 20 May 2012, 1956 by Reenie »
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.

Offline Reenie

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #14 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 2054 »
Punch on the nose of bullies has always been the best solution for me. However, when I was employed by a government agency, a bop on the nose was impossible so I had to endure mental stress beyond comprehension. I dealt with it and have become a better person for it. It has put me off officially working ever again though. Makes me wonder how anyone can.

It is off-putting and I had a few months of not working after my bad experience. Granted a few were recuperation after an op but I never went back to work at the same place. To be honest, I didn't like not working. Perhaps if I'd lived in the vicinity of close family, or if my kids were younger I'd have had a different outlook. I enjoy working though, enjoy the challenge of the day and most enjoyable, pay day at the end of it. I left a job that I hadn't realised was badly paid and now earn much more a month, to me that makes all the difference.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.

Offline Rascal

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #15 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 2139 »
I remember you going through all that Reens. It was awful.

The thing to know about bullies is that I am not afraid of them. There is nothing they can do to you that doesn't show their own fears and inadequacies.
IT IS RASCALS BIRTHDAY BEFORE MONKEY FIDDLERS!!! STILL!!!      
Oooh, it's all "Wils, Wils, Wils!"
Rascal bach, you have no idea how hard I'm laughing at your last post.  You are so funny.
I think Rascal should apologise for Wils - seriously!

Offline Reenie

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #16 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 2236 »
Agreed. Illegitimi non carborundum :D Still makes me laugh.
As long as the basis of your strength is not compromised, it's amazing what a simple person has to draw on.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.

Offline Carnedyr

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #17 on: Sunday 20 May 2012, 2240 »
When bullies are confronted about their behaviour, they will deny ever doing so, even when there are witnesses. In my experience, I have seen bullying at work and each time I have seen it, the perpetrators have been incompetent and have taken their frustrations out on people that can actually do the job better than them.

Good point Rascal, I often witness (not quite the levels described in this thread) people trying to make others feel small, the motive being to make the bully feel bigger and better. There's a proverb that describes this exactly, told to me years ago but I just can't remember it, something about cutting legs of others doesn't make you stand taller?

Also, when it comes to verbal harassment (name calling), in the workplace it can be acceptable UNTIL the person being name called states he/she objects to it, then it becomes harassment. This is obviously because many of us have nicknames etc, that until we explain our objection to being called, it may be accepted that we don't mind.

This doesn't include sexist or racist name calling which is instantly harassment.

while we have time let us do good

Offline Rascal

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #18 on: Monday 21 May 2012, 1054 »
Reenie, "you also need to know which battles to fight", never a truer word said. Life is to short to waste on irritating bullies. The best way to extinguish a fire is do deny it of its fuel/heat/oxygen. Like Bruce Lee said, the best way not to get hit, is not to be there.

At our previous house, we bought it to renovate and sell on as we were living in it. We knew we were not going to be there long, it was a stepping stone to make the money to buy this place. We bought the worst house in the best street and made it the best house in just over a year. All was good until one evening I came home and the Present Mrs. Rascal said that she had heard the next door neighbour beating his wife up. Later, I heard her locking herself in the children's bedroom and him trying to get in wanting sex.

It is the last time I will ever live in an attached house for the above reasons. So, the next time they started making a noise, I asked them to stop it. The bloke slammed the door in my face. The next day he came to my house to complain that I had asked for the noise to stop, so I returned the favour and closed the door on him.

After that, he would call me names, threaten me, generally sulked and attempt to intimidate me. Sound familiar?

I did not respond to his threats, knowing that he was a total cachwr. The best one was where I was in my garden shed with the my lawnmower in bits. He was there, bellowing at me, I looked up, sniffed, and carried on with my task. He was furious and the name calling ensued. He desired, longed for, yearned for and even demanded 'response'.

The thing is, with these sort of people, they are the ones that make the most noise but have nothing to say and resort to threats of violence. It really does show a lack of intelligence. It is amazing to learn how some bullies have learnt this behaviour from parents/employers etc. They hate it happening to them, claiming that it destroyed their life, how it was oppressive, how small they felt, how it was undermining and yet they continue to carry out the same actions towards others.

They deny it of course, and even go so far as to make reasons as to why they continue to bully people. They say it is an autocratic managerial style, the only way they can get staff to do what they want, claim that the people 'below' them are stupid, thick, etc. or that the victim has said something that is the opposite of what they believe. They actually convince themselves that this is a good reason to bait other people.

Carny, I love that addage of cutting the legs of someone to make yourself taller.
IT IS RASCALS BIRTHDAY BEFORE MONKEY FIDDLERS!!! STILL!!!      
Oooh, it's all "Wils, Wils, Wils!"
Rascal bach, you have no idea how hard I'm laughing at your last post.  You are so funny.
I think Rascal should apologise for Wils - seriously!

Offline ben 10

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #19 on: Monday 21 May 2012, 1307 »
Victims are often singled out because of his/her psychological traits more than his/her physical traits. They are likely to be shy, lack social skills, sensitive, anxious,  have low self-esteem and are insecure. If the perpetrator senses any weakness's they usually build upon them and the treatment gets worse.

Now, I should be clear that bullying is not something I condone or would support ever. But over the years, I've learned some things from those who have tormented me. I learned how to stand up for myself I can take whatever crap people lob at me and walk away from it without weeping.

One reason bullies do what they do is because of physical weakness. This isn't for everyone, but I got into self defense at a young age and when I got bullied and they would try to hit me, I would ruin their day. Once a victim establishes they are stronger than the bully the bully will leave them alone. As I said, it is not for everybody. Plus if your kids want to fight back, they don't because the parents tell them to "just ignore them and they will leave you alone" so those parents need to get their asses kicked as well.


It is what it is........innit?

Offline Mr-Tomcat

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #20 on: Monday 21 May 2012, 1549 »
In responce to the last part of Ben10's post.
Children who are bullied at school are not allowed to hit back, they think that by hitting back they themselves will get into trouble, that in itself is wrong, why shouldn't anybody be allowed to hit back?

Offline Rascal

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #21 on: Monday 21 May 2012, 1746 »
Fortunately TC I can't read my mates postings any more but, you say that children 'think' they will get into bother if they hit back. They think that because it's true. I was on the playground with RB and there was a group of children there and one was telling others to hit RB. The children were taking it in turns to hit her. So, she came over to me and told me what was going on, I calmly told her to do as I have shown her, make a proper fist and hit them back. They stopped hitting her when the one boy screamed like a banshee and ran over crying with his lip split.  RB had a telling off and then I went over and told her she had done the right thing. If the school isn't going to stop this behaviour, RB will put a stop to it and she did.

What I teach RB is to tell the teacher the first time, tell the teacher the second time and then punch them as hard as she can the third time they hit her. The Present Mrs. Rascal is at odds with this, but it is the only way I have ever seen bullying being stopped.

I take the same stance myself, that neighbour insulted me twice before I took action. And put it this way, he and his wife were sorry they ever crossed me. It cost him big time, I will not be intimidated by anyone that thinks they can bully me. Like I said, I am not afraid of bullies I understand their ignorance and why they do what they do and I understand the hot air that they blow trying to instil fear with threats. No, it doesn't wash with me.

IT IS RASCALS BIRTHDAY BEFORE MONKEY FIDDLERS!!! STILL!!!      
Oooh, it's all "Wils, Wils, Wils!"
Rascal bach, you have no idea how hard I'm laughing at your last post.  You are so funny.
I think Rascal should apologise for Wils - seriously!

Offline Mr-Tomcat

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #22 on: Monday 21 May 2012, 1828 »
I lost my house as a result of Holyheads low life, I didn't retaliate as I didn't want to be like them, now years later I wish I had, as like you Rasal I won't take it anymore either. My lad will not hit back in school no matter how often he's told to, despite being told we will go and sort the school out. Sorry for going a bit off subject.

Offline Tecsyn

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Re: Bullying In The Workplace
« Reply #23 on: Monday 21 May 2012, 1935 »
I don't really condone violence, but as a kid in the 1970's at Thomas Ellis primary school, another kid used to bully me daily. He'd push me against a wall and repeatedly punch me in the stomach. I mentioned it to my mother one day, and she said "punch him as hard as you can." The next time he had me against the wall punching me, I gave him a full-force roundhouse to the face. He had a shiner for at least a week, and everyone was asking "what have you done to Tudor" like I was the bully. He came back and struck me in revenge, but never bothered me again, so I guess Mum's advice worked...